THE BREATHTAKING POWER OF DRACULA
You’ve tuned into this station, at this hour, this very instant, to hear the weather for the Pio Pico region. The weekend is a long weekend; and your weekends are important to you . You would like to know, you need to know … whether your purported camping trip, with Bill, and Zachary, will be one sweet time, or a pretty shitty waste of days. And I’ll get to that. I’ll get to all that. But first …
I’d like to tell you about the breathtaking power of Dracula.
Dracula can do anything. Anything at all. He is that powerful. Think of something, some task. Something … incredible. Are you thinking of it? Well, Dracula can do it. Easy. He can do it – and he’s probably done it before.
Forget your superheros. Forget your cartoon villains. Their power is nothing compared to Dracula’s breathtaking power. Is Superman immortal? Can Batman actually change into a bat? These are pressing questions. I’m having a sudden, sharp pain in the right side of my head. If I were Dracula … I wouldn’t ever even be in pain, at all. I would never need the sedatives, again.
The makeup, and the cape, is just showmanship. He’s a slick immortal, Dracula. And so powerful. His is a power … that flows from beyond the grave, and lasts and lasts until the very end of days.
Sunny and mild Saturday. Sunday, partly cloudy, 30% chance of rain. Monday – rain all day.
First published in Metazen.
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