DEAD FRIENDS WHO SAID CLEVER THINGS (WHEN LIVING)*

JOHN:            Nature ain’t half as cruel as we imagine.  Sends our looks and faculties packing, true – but also our power to see and translate the change.  My brain and hairline can fly off into the sunrise together, for all I care.

 

APRIL:           But there must be advantages to aging.  Wisdom, for instance?

 

JOHN:            The old do know everything.  They just can’t remember it.

 

APRIL:           All one can hope for, I suppose, is to age gracefully.

 

JOHN:            In time, you’ll find that aging disgracefully is much more fun.  I still remember the day it struck me – that vice is nothing more than a virtue waiting to be discovered.  Suddenly, I felt like Marco Polo.

 

APRIL:           Here’s a role model.

 

JOHN:            Life became the Swiss account into which I left my follies to ripen, as a source of quiet amusement in my golden years.

 

APRIL:           Actually, it’s pronounced “no-to-ri-e-ty.” A few of us prefer to live honestly.  No room for any skeletons in the closet.

 

JOHN:            Oh, I don’t mind them.  But if they unionize, I’m ruined.

 

APRIL:           [Tittering.] I love you, Granddad.

 

*This was an outtake of my 2010 poetry/art book Plum Stuff, a sample of which can be viewed here.

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