I love most kinds of music but I need jazz to live.
My favorite group is Blue Magnitude. When I’m depressed, when I’m more depressed than usual, I’ll put on Blue Magnitude, turn it up, and just close my eyes and listen without thinking for as long as I can. Because it’s only a matter of time before Mom will open the door and say “How can you listen to that depressing crap?” and turn it down or off, not realizing she’s turning me down or off, or not caring. Or she’ll put on some oldies instead and say, “Now that’s happiness,” but it’s like cheerleaders bearing a casket and the instant she leaves I throw the lid open and they tumble into the horizon.
Blue Magnitude is depressing but life is depressing and it’s the right kind of fabric to patch me up. It’s camouflage. When I listen to jazz, I disappear. I’m not suffering; I’m not there.
I listen to music every day. If I couldn’t…
Rolli’s latest collection, I Am Currently Working on a Novel, was longlisted for the Frank O’Connor International Short Story Award and shortlisted for the High Plains Book Award.