STORY FOR CHILDREN: Excellent Pets

A tiger makes an excellent pet. It does.

You just have to feed it lots (pretzels are its favorite).

And take it for walks (don’t let it eat the mail lady).

And brush its fur every night before bed—a hundred strokes.

One… two… three…

Then it’ll purr so loud the whole neighbourhood will hear.

A grizzly bear makes an excellent pet. It’s true.

You just have to take it fishing (don’t forget the hooks).

And rub its tummy (come on, now, be brave).

And read it bedtime stories (anything but “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”).

It won’t be half as grizzly, after that.

A T-Rex makes an excellent pet. Absolutely.

You just have to keep its tail warm (a quilt works dandy).

And give it hot chocolate (don’t forget the little marshmallows).

And toss it a Frisbee after school.

Those short little arms aren’t good for much, but they’re perfect for catching Frisbees.

A killer whale makes an excellent pet. Surprisingly.

You just have to brush its teeth (hey, it can’t do it by itself).

And shine its flippers (spit works fine).

And give it tons of baths (don’t forget the rubber duck).

Remember: a clean killer whale is a happy killer whale.

A puppy makes a terrible pet.

It just sits there and looks cute.

Who wants that?

                                                                                                

This story is free for you to enjoy. Donations of any amount are, however, much appreciated.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s