Writing Stories

I didn’t feel anything at all when they froze me to death.

I liked writing stories but โ€œNo one has read stories since the 70s,โ€ a man in a trench coat told me. An editor. Then he went back into the liquor store.

I thought about killing myself, but it was too expensive.

I didnโ€™t feel anything at all when they froze me to death.

When they woke me up, I was in incredible pain. They also had to electrocute me, which was painful as hell.

โ€œWelcome, Mr. Izmiris, to the year 2076.โ€

A man in a wheelchair took me on a tour of the city. When he finished, he gave me the key to the city.

โ€œItโ€™s an honor,โ€ I said.

โ€œWe give it to everyone,โ€ he said, out of breath.


There was a crater where my old apartment used to be.

But I found a charred notebook with Thoughts and Fancies written on the cover. The inside was blank.

There was a singed pencil, too.

I sat in the crater all day, writing stories. It was a lot colder due to Global Warming.

โ€œWe could have sex?โ€

I looked up. The old woman was standing on a slant. There were about a million crows on the skyscraper behind her.

The skyscraper fell over. The woman didnโ€™t even turn her head.

About a million crows flew up.

Then the woman dropped down, dead.


It was cold as hell on the subway.

When I started crying, a staggering man put his arm around me. An editor.

โ€œListen,โ€ he said. โ€œI sympathize with you a lot. I died but it didnโ€™t hurt because I canโ€™t remember.โ€

He told me about the time he fell off his bicycle. The ambulance ran over him.

A tear started falling but he caught it in time.

Eventually, he agreed to look at my stories. He didnโ€™t read them, exactly.

โ€œNo,โ€ he said, flipping pages. โ€œTheyโ€™re too far-fetched.โ€

โ€œI was writing about my life,โ€ I said.

A rat ran past. The editor dropped my notebook.

He was still chasing the rat when the subway squealed to a stop.


The sun went down. A shell of frost formed over everything. To warm up, I took a walk in Central Park. Central Park was the name of the biggest crater.

I passed a guy on a burnt bench, swallowing wine. An editor.

โ€œWhen itโ€™s as cold as it is, you just need to stand outside for a while. You donโ€™t need cryogenics.โ€

He was right. My blood was freezing.

โ€œSee the gargoyles up there?โ€

He pointed to the War Monument. That was the only thing in the park that was still standing.

โ€œTheyโ€™re actually writers. Youโ€™re allowed to paint over them if you avoid the eyes.โ€

โ€œReally?โ€

โ€œThey might wake up one day.โ€ He emptied the bottle. โ€œProbably not.โ€

A man with dirt or makeup on his face walked by. His fly was down.

The editor jumped up and followed him.


It took me an hour to climb the Monument. I hadnโ€™t eaten since 1976.

There was a gap between gargoyles, so I squeezed between them. I crouched down.

The paint was flaking off the white gargoyle. It was black underneath.

I took out my notebook and wrote down everything Iโ€™d seen and heard that day. Even this:

The editor crawled out of the bushes, up to the War Monument. He defecated next to it.

I closed the notebook. I scratched out Thoughts and Fancies.

Then I wrote down Do Not Thaw Until 2176.

“Writing Stories” was first published (as “Mr. Izmiris”) in Broken Pencil.

โ˜• If you enjoyed this story, please buy me a coffee. โ˜•

A Wild Curiosity Shop: Plumstuff Reviewed in Broken Pencil

Hello, Friends – – –

Spotted a nice new review of my latest poetry/drawing collection in Broken Pencil magazine.

Review Rob Thomas call the book quirky, whimsical, playful and sardonic and likened it to a “wild curiosity shop,” which sounds about right to me ๐Ÿ™‚

Read the full review here.

For more info on Plumstuff, check out this post:

Take care, friends.

Cheers – – –

Rolli

(P.S. Buy me a coffee)