Some years ago, I was a Creative Columnist for the acclaimed Canadian magazine The Walrus. I wrote over two dozen short stories for them, including reader favorite “Camp Faraway for Bitter Young Men.” If you didn’t catch that story the first time around, have a look:
If you enjoyed the story and would like to see more of my fiction on their site, kindly let the editors know by writing to letters@thewalrus.ca. I’d be so grateful ๐
Until next time, friends.
Cheers – – –
Rolli
P.S. You might like my latest collection, Plumstuff.
Today, HOAX Magazine published one of my short short stories, “Legs,” on their website. I also provided the illustration. Have a look when you get a chance:
I was close to throwing up when I noticed an enormous glowing sign that said BOOKSTORE.
I sat up.
I stood up.
I brushed the leaves off my back.
*
There were a few people inside the store. I felt a little better. As long as several members of the species read, thereโs still hope for us.
The rows and rows of tables at the front of the store were strewn with candles. A beautiful girl was sniffing a blue candle. She sniffed it for about a minute. Then moved on to a yellow one.
In the middle of the store was a ring of six tall bookcases. There were no books on them. I noticed bathrobes โฆ telescopes โฆ letter-openersโฆ An elderly woman grabbed one of each, and dropped them in her basket.
The bookshelves on the back wall were cluttered with stuffed animals. And bubble bath.
In the corner of my eye I spotted a bearded man on a stepladder constructing a pyramid of green tea cans.
โExcuse me,โ I said.
He dropped another can in place.
โYouโre going to laugh,โ I said. โBut I canโt seem to find the books.โ
The man didnโt laugh.
He blinked.
โBooks?โ he said.
โBooks,โ I said.
He blinked again.
He squinted.
He smoothed his beard.
โI donโt thinkโฆโ
He smoothed his beard.
โNoโฆโ
โI donโt think we have those.โ
I looked at him for about a minute.
โAre you sure?โ I said.
He looked at the ceiling.
He smoothed his beard.
โI can take a look,โ he said.
He climbed down the ladder and vanished.
I wandered aroundโฆ
Pen sets โฆ headphones โฆ coconut oilโฆ
My heart almost stopped when I saw a book but it was made of chocolate.
The elderly woman walked by. She was standing on a slant. Her basket was heaped with bubble bath bottles.
The bearded man reappeared.
โNo,โ he said.
He stared at me for at least a minute.
โNo โฆ books?โ I said.
He shook his head.
His beard was unbelievably smooth.
โThank-you,โ I said, eventually.
The man blinked.
He blinked again.
โNo problem,โ he said.
He climbed back up the ladder. And added a capstone to the pyramid.
I backed away. I felt dizzy. I leaned on a bookshelf.
A herd of stuffed elephants fell to the floor.
On my way to the door, I bumped into someone.
โIโm sorry,โ I said.
It was the beautiful girl. She didnโt say anything. She resumed smelling a red candle.
I staggered outside.
I collapsed in the grass.
I threw up.
This story was first published in SYLVIA Magazine.
Just letting you know that my latest story for children, “One Gum Bubble,” has been published in Short Circuit. You can read it here – and find it in short story dispensers the world over.
My latest children’s poem, as well, was just published in Orbit. Peruse it below.
That’s all for now. I have lots of other stuff to share with you in the September issue of my free monthly newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you can do so right here.